Control:
It’s UGLY!
For those who may not know, the creature in the image above is Gollum from the Lord of the Rings movie. He is ugly, however, I think people bent on controlling others are uglier. Control is egregious (which means that it is especially and/or noticeably bad, ugly, or offensive).
Sadly, as in today’s Scripture passage, we see these types in church. Having been in ministry a long time, I have seen more of them than I wish I had. Being in a position to know more than I would sometimes like to know about their situations, I have a theory:
Some people have no authority at work, at home, at school, in family, or anywhere else. Church seems to be the only place where they can control someone and get away with it. This is nothing short of an emotional problem, in my opinion.
It is especially egregious when controllers hurt people in church–as they often do. Some of their victims do not recover. Their eternal destiny is potentially compromised for the sake of a damaged person’s emotional insecurities.
Virtually everyone who has been a pastor or church leader has encountered this. I have seen ministries destroyed by controllers. I have good friends in Florida who are right now dealing with a controller who spread slander for the purpose of discrediting them so they could take over their responsibilities.
It is “one thing” when an immature Believer behaves in such a cutthroat manner. Not excusable, but understandable to a point. It is another entirely when someone who accepts a position of leadership intentionally hurts others to satisfy their own needs. This is a greater level of accountability and such behavior is unjustifiable.
Disagreements will happen because leadership requires that a leader be in charge. Leaders must set rules and enforce them because they are accountable to God for how they lead. Not liking how a leader leads, however, is not a reason to reject a leader. The ugly, controlling, damaging behavior of which I speak is not that.
I encourage you to avoid being drawn into conflict with someone who loves to control others. (And they will draw you in if they can.) You may have to avoid the person altogether. FYI: It is not wrong to put up boundaries against someone who behaves badly and hurts others. Your goal is not to be their next victim.
Will such a one reject you? Probably, because controlling people do not like it when you do not let them control you. Know this: You need only One’s acceptance. If God accepts you, do you need the acceptance of someone determined to hurt you?
The bottom line is to be aware. Learn to recognize controlling behavior and know that it is not in agreement with God. John did in today’s passage. You should too … because they are out there.
Today’s Seed™ Scripture and Prayer for Apr. 1, 2024:
I wrote a letter to the church, but Diotrephes, who loves to be in charge, will not recognize our authority. (3 Jn 1:9 ISV)
Prayer: LORD, some people want to be in charge and have authority over others. When I encounter such a controlling person, help me use wisdom and avoid being drawn into a conflict with them. Give me strength to not give in to their attempts to control. If I must set a boundary against them, help me do so, move on, and allow you to deal with them as You think best. I seek Your acceptance–but the acceptance of others is optional. In Jesus’ name, Amen. (c) 2023 Randall Vaughn • All Rights Reserved • http://www.e-min.org
Today’s Seed™ is reader-supported
Donations are tax deductible
Donate with card or checking account
Mail check to:
E-MIN, P. O. Box 220, Warrior, AL 35180
Today’s Seed™ (c) 2024 Randall Vaughn • All Rights Reserved Worldwide.
Today’s Seed™ by Randall Vaughn is published daily (M-F) by E-MIN Global Ministries, P O Box 220, Warrior, AL 35180 (USA) • www.e-min.org • Copyright Terms/Permissions/List Privacy www.e-min.org/tp.htm
Today’s Seed™ may be re-posted electronically as originally published by author and WITH attribution (author name and link included in post). Copyright notice and link after prayer shall be sufficient. Reproduction, publishing, and/or duplication by all other means requires written permission.
Scripture quotations marked “NIV” are taken from the Holy Bible, New International Version, NIV. Copyright (c) 1973, 1978, 1984 by Biblica, Inc.(tm) Used by permission of Zondervan. All rights reserved worldwide.
About Randall Vaughn:
With 40+ years as pastor, author, teacher, worship leader, and songwriter, Randall pioneered E-MIN in 1997–one of the earliest online ministries and today the longest operating. His passion is leading people to deeper, genuine relationship with God. He lives in Alabama with his lovely wife, Karen, and their dogs, Hadi and Rayah. He enjoys hiking, exploring new tech, and “prayer walks”.
Copyright (c) 2024 Randall Vaughn • All Rights Reserved.
All trademarks, service marks, and/or company names, including but not limited to E-MIN, One Minute Message, Today’s Seed, et al. are the property of their respective owners.
http://www.e-min.org
Disclaimer: WordPress may insert ads in this page. E-MIN neither agrees with, approves, nor receives any financial benefit from these ads. Thank you for your understanding.
E-MIN Global Ministries 